Misunderstood

I am often misunderstood.  I am misunderstood by people that are very close to me, and people I barely know.  I blame my anxiety.

A few nights ago, I was making dinner.  I had a good day and was excited to spend some quality time with my family. I was listening to the television that was on in the other room as I was preparing the asparagus for the grill.  The volume was turned up so my husband could hear it over the the dogs growling & running around the house, sounding like a herd of elephants.  My daughter was sitting at the dinner table nearby watching a goofy Youtube video.  She was laughing and kept asking me to watch it. Her iPad volume was extremely loud, probably because of all the other commotion in the house.  I felt myself starting to tense up and shake.  The dogs come sliding towards me on the hard wood floor.  “DAMN IT! KEEP THESE DOGS OUT OF THE KITCHEN!  I’M TRYING TO GET SUPPER READY!” As tears are running down my cheeks, my husband looks at me like I am from some other planet.  As he walks away, he rolls his eyes.  I had been in a good mood. I wasn’t mad at anyone and I was looking forward to the evening.  Don’t they all know that me lashing out was not because I was in a foul mood? All of the noise and commotion can be too much for me at times.  It’s like my nerves cannot handle it.  I am misunderstood.  Now I have pissed everyone off and pretty much ruined the evening.  People will avoid me like the plague, which is not how I imagined the evening to turn out.

Later that night, I approached my husband and explained how I was feeling and that all of the commotion was making a nervous wreck.  He misunderstood how I was feeling, and said he thought I was just angry and lashing out.  That was so far from the truth.

People with anxiety can be extremely sensitive to commotion.  For me, if there are multiple things going on at the same time, I start feeling very nervous.  I hold it all in until I can’t take it anymore.  I don’t mean to offend anyone, I just get to the point where enough is enough and I don’t know how to deal with it all.  Unfortunately, when I reach my breaking point, I start yelling.

Please give us anxiety sufferers a little slack.  We don’t mean to upset anyone.  Instead of getting mad, a hug would mean so much, or simply ask if we are okay.  We just want someone to understand how we are feeling.

 

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